Real Life | Our Path to Parenthood & Beyond – Laura-Rose & Stacey’s Story
We are Laura-Rose & Stacey, a married couple, who have been together for fifteen years.
When we first started out on our path to parenthood, there were no support systems or organisations around for same sex couples wanting to start a family together. Everything was set up to cater for the needs of heterosexual couples and there was a massive lack of information available to us. We had to ‘muddle’ through and at times it was disheartening & frustrating. We felt unsupported and isolated without the benefit of others around us to learn from, who had been through similar feelings and experiences.
At the time when we started our journey, we had so many questions.
What ARE our options? Do we want to carry a child? Who carries? How? How much does it cost? Where can we do it? How do we choose a donor? Where would we find a donor? How long would it take to fall pregnant? What other routes are available for us? The list was endless.
Throughout our journey, we were often being contacted by others who wanted to know their options too and had those same burning questions that we did. We’d be contacted through social media, work, friends of friends, even in the recovery room after having one of our children!
It became such a frequent occurrence, that it soon became apparent that there was a need for an organisation & community for people like us. Information needed to be more readily available for LGBT couples who wanted to start their own family too. IVF is challenging for heterosexual couples, but even more complex for same sex couples and it was clear that a support network was needed to help them to deal with everything involved, the practicalities as well as the emotional implications. We knew we had to use our lived experience, knowledge & expertise of dealing with multiple organisations over the years and with that, LGBT MUMMIES (formerly The LGBT Mummies Tribe) was born.
Over the past eleven years and as our organisation has continued to grow
We have been incredibly lucky to have had three miracle children by IUI & IVF. But our journey wasn’t always easy- over that time we have had a total of 12 cycles & spent in excess of £50k to have our children. We have navigated severe PCOS, miscarriage, multiple failed cycles, a diminished ovarian reserve, birth trauma & trying to conceive during the global pandemic! There were times that it nearly broke us and we thought we wouldn’t be able to continue. with & implications that accompany most LGBT+ journey like lack of funded access to finance children.
Our own family may possibly be complete, but we know that for many in our LGBT+ community, there is still so much work to do, to provide a level playing field that caters for our needs. We continue to provide support & guidance to our global community & to ensure we have a seat at the table with the NHS, Government & governing bodies, to make sure that the system changes to provide better support. We continue to insist that organisations are held to account and the experiences of our LGBT community are listened to. We continue to shape policies, guidelines & laws, to support our paths to family creation.
Even more importantly, we will passionately fight to ensure that all LGBT+ families are visible, represented in maternity, healthcare & general society: That our paths to Parenthood are “usualised” & that our children are born to a more inclusive & safer future.
