The loss of a baby is devastating, whether it’s through miscarriage, stillbirth, premature birth, or neonatal death.

As a grieving parent, you may be faced with a range of emotions, including shock, sadness, anger, disbelief, frustration and difficulty coming to terms with your loss. 

As well as dealing with your own grief, you may be dealing with the grief of others too, especially if you already have other children, who may be asking questions that you have no answers to yourself.

It’s important to show yourself compassion, to give yourself permission to grieve and to allow your feelings to come out. 

Counselling from professionals, who are used to working with others in your situation, can be extremely valuable, giving you a safe space to talk about your feelings about what has happened and your future.

Your GP, fertility specialist or IVF consultant can recommend where to get support for your individual needs. 

Where can I find answers to why I lost my baby?

This is not always possible, unfortunately. However, as scientists continue to research into fertility, pregnancy, birth and loss, they are beginning to find more answers for people. Your GP or consultant may be able to tell you what it was that may have caused your loss and, in some cases, there may be action that can be taken to help to prevent a similar loss in future.  

Which organisations work with parents who have lost a baby?

There are a wide range of charities and organisations that support parents through their loss and help them to find ways to move forwards. For many people who go on to have a baby after loss, they can also help them to deal with any conflicting emotions around the happiness of having a new baby, while still feeling the sadness from their loss. They are very experienced in dealing with the whole range of emotions that parents may feel at various points in their family journey.

Two of the most well-known of these organisations are Tommy’s and SANDS. More information about both charities can be found on the internet:

Tommy’s

SANDS

If I have miscarried, had a still birth or lost my baby through neonatal death, what are the chances of this happening again? 

Many people who have been through baby loss, one or more times, can go on to have a successful pregnancy and give birth to a healthy baby afterwards. Your consultant will be able to advise you on how to move forwards in your own personal circumstances. 

When is it safe to try to conceive again, after the loss of my baby?

This varies very much on a number of factors and is something to discuss with your consultant or fertility specialist. 

It’s important to feel mentally and emotionally prepared to try to conceive again and your body also needs to be ready too.

If you have gone through IVF recently and miscarried, the medication used to stimulate the ovaries may have caused inflammation, so this will need to subside before any further IVF treatment. Waiting, also allows time to assess the possible reasons for your miscarriage. If you have given birth, either prematurely, or at full term, your body will also need time to recover. 

What are my options for IVF treatment after baby loss?

If your consultant cannot identify a reason why IVF is unlikely to work for you, then further treatments can go ahead, once you are mentally and physically ready.

Here at the IVF Network, we understand the roller-coaster of emotions that comes with infertility and IVF. That mixture of relief and hope, that can sometimes, sadly, turn to feelings of loss and sadness. Our aim is to provide a range of information, through our website, blog posts and dedicated channel of experts, to support individuals and couples on their personal fertility journey.